Keeping Secrets
by DarkandtwistyGirl
Summary: Set early S4. Sam has started to get headaches, no visions, just headaches. How are you supposed to tell someone who has literally been to hell and back for you that you could die? Simple, you don’t, you start keeping secrets. sick!Sam *Complete*
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, or any recognisable characters. **

**Here's the next fic, it'll probably only be a two shot, but I hope you all enjoy it anyways!**

* * *

It has been two months since Dean was rescued from hell, and on a favor for another hunter, Sam and Dean are taking some time out from their hunt for Lilith to do a simple salt and burn, and it was going to plan, until the spirit got the jump on them, and now Dean is trying to distract it, while Sam finishes digging.

Dean is screaming to Sam, struggling against the spirit's attempt to throw him around. Sam is trying desperately to finish, but his head is throbbing mercilessly, and he can't even see straight, it's all he can do to stay standing.

* * *

Two hours later as Sam is cleaning and stitching up a number of minor cuts and abrasions covering Dean's body, he can still barely function, but is doing everything for Dean before he gives himself the time to think about himself.

* * *

Once Dean's patched up and settled into bed, Sam goes into the bathroom, and as he's getting himself ready for bed, his thoughts drift to the events of tonight. It should have been simple, but Dean ended up with twenty two stitches, because of him. As much as he has been denying it, Sam knows that the headaches he's been getting, progressively worsening, and increasing in frequency are a sign that something is wrong, very wrong.

* * *

The next day, while Dean is out hustling, probably for the next few hours, Sam grabs a twenty, and hails a cab to take him to a nearby free clinic. As he sits waiting in between the teenager juggling two young kids, and the questionable middle aged man, Sam's mind wanders to a thought that he wishes it didn't. _What if they find something?_

_What'll happen to Dean, he's been through too much, he'll never survive if there's something wrong with me, he's been to hell and back for me for god's sake!_

* * *

Sam continues to wait there, until his name is finally called, and he is directed into one of the tiny offices. The doctor looks up at him with a compassionate expression that surprises Sam, and then the doctor introduces himself. "I'm Dr Freed. What can I do for you today?"

"I um, er ...I think there's something wrong with me." Sam mumbles, knowing how weak that sounds, but too nervous to vocalize what he really thinks.

"Okay." Dr Freed says before he asks. "Can you tell me what's been going on to make you think that?"

Sam pauses for a moment, and then he tells the doctor. "I've been getting headaches, really bad and getting worse, sometimes I can't even see properly."

"Okay, how long have you been experiencing the headaches? Days? Weeks?"

_Let's see, they started about two and a half months after I buried Dean, so that would make it about... _"Three and a half months, give or take."

There is a noticeable pause between Sam's answer and the doctor's response, which when it happens is a simple. "I see." And then there is almost a minute of silence while he fills out some medical forms, which he hands to Sam as he says. "I think we had better run some tests, to be safe."

Sam nods wearily as he accepts the forms, and then silently stands up and walks out of the room. And then as he is following the various signs towards the pathology and imaging department, Sam glances at the forms, and several words quickly catch his eye 'symptoms indicate a possible tumour'.

Sam feels his stomach flip as he sees that one word, tumour, and he has to sit down where he is in the hallway, for fear of passing out. _A tumour?! What if it's cancer?! What will happen then? There'd be treatments, but what about Dean? There's no way he can watch me go through that._

* * *

Six days later, Sam is back at the clinic, his results are in, and in the next few minutes he will find out the verdict. It has been a long few days, especially since he decided not to tell Dean, and so had had to put on a constant, exhausting façade.

"Sam Winters." A nurse calls out suddenly, breaking Sam out of his thoughts, and in a numb motion, he walks through into the consulting room.

He barely notices as Dr Freed greets him, and begins speaking, he only barely remembers going over the mundane paperwork, the only part of the visit that is clear to Sam is the moment when he heard the devastating words – "You have a brain tumour, you need urgent treatment".

Eventually Dr Freed realises that nothing is sinking in, and gives Sam a couple of pamphlets on his condition, a meningioma, and tells him to call him in a day or two, when he's had time to think.

And Sam merely nods in acknowledgement before leaving.

* * *

As Sam walks into the motel room, he is barely functioning, but one thing is clear to Sam, Dean can not find out about this, and so he forces himself to put up a façade of calm and takes a breath before walking towards the small couch where Dean is sitting, entranced in whatever mindless tv show he is watching.

As he hears his brother approach, Dean looks up, and questions him. "Where've you been, Sam?"

Sam steels himself as he replies. "Just went to the library, checking out a possible case."

Dean nods, accepting his answer. "Okay, you find anything?"

If he didn't feel like he was about to cry, Sam would've laughed. Did he find anything? Of all the things Dean could've asked, so Sam just shakes his head as he says. "No, I didn't." Before he wearily heads towards the bathroom, where unbeknown to Dean, he breaks down, his devastated sobs hidden by the sound of running water.

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading! Please review, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, Grey's Anatomy, or any recognisable characters. **

**AN: Just a little side note, I couldn't be bothered thinking up more OCs, so I just used Grey's Anatomy characters, sorry!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

It isn't until the next morning that Sam calls the clinic to talk to Dr Freed, he just collapsed into bed last night, and now he has to figure out what he is going to do next and so here he is, sitting on his bed, waiting anxiously for the doctor to answer.

Eventually, Dr Freed answers, and after brief greetings are exchanged, he gets down to the point by saying. "There's no way to sugar coat this, Sam. You need an operation urgently, or you will die."

"..." Sam is silent for close to a minute before he replies. "Okay." And then there is another pause, while Sam thinks of how he is going to handle this, and then he decides. "But I live in Seattle, can you give me the name of someone there who can do this?"

"No problem, Sam. One of the best neurosurgeons in the country works at Seattle Grace Hospital, Derek Shepherd. I can write you a referral to see him." Dr Freed tells Sam, and then he adds. "Just stop by the clinic later today, and I will give you the referral and you can take it from there."

"Okay, thanks." Sam says gratefully before ending the call as Dean walks into the room.

* * *

Six hours and several phone calls later Sam is booked in for surgery in a week's time, now all he has to do is find a way to get away from Dean for the duration.

* * *

By the next afternoon, Sam has formulated a plan, and he is sitting outside the motel room, mentally preparing himself to walk inside and tell Dean this lie, despite knowing that it means that he will be going through all this on his own, despite knowing that if Dean finds out, he will be devastated.

Eventually, Sam pulls himself to his feet, and after giving himself a moment to let his head stop spinning, he walks inside, and without revealing any emotion he tells Dean. "I need to talk to you about something. It's important."

Dean looks up at Sam, and worriedly asks him. "Is everything alright?"

Sam takes a breath, steeling himself before he replies. "Yeah, everything's fine. I've just been thinking, maybe I could head back to school, I've been offered a place in a law degree at University of Minnesota."

Dean jaw drops, he clearly believes the lie, and quickly asks. "You're gonna leave? After everything you're just gonna leave?! What about the hunt? What about the fact that the freakin' apocalypse is coming?!" _What about me? _Goes unsaid.

Sam pauses for a moment before he tells Dean. "I really need to do this, Dean. I'm sorry."

There is an awkward pause before Dean says. "You don't need to be sorry, Sammy. I want you to be happy, I know you don't like hunting, you should go. We'll meet up when we can."

* * *

Two days later, Sam rents a car, and leaves Dean. He is wracked by guilt for deceiving his brother, but knows he that this is how it has to be.

* * *

Four days, two of which were spent driving, later, Sam is sitting on a bed in Seattle Grace Hospital's pre-op area, going over a pile of forms with one of Dr Shepherd's underlings, Meredith Grey.

As she asks him question after question, he numbly answers, the whole time wishing that Dean was here, that Dean even knew where he is.

It isn't until Dr Grey asks him the second last question on the form that Sam hesitates in answering. It isn't even a difficult question. "Who should we put down as your next of kin, someone to call in case of emergency?"

"..." Upon hearing this, Sam doesn't answer, thinking for a moment before he asks her. "You would only call if it was essential, right?"

Taken by surprise, Meredith takes a moment before she responds. "I can make a note that they are only to be contacted in emergent circumstances."

"Okay, thanks." Sam says quietly before he tells her Dean's cell number.

Meredith then finishes up the last pieces of paperwork, and then tells Sam. "Someone will be in to take you to surgery in a few minutes." Before walking away, leaving Sam alone, desperately wishing that he wasn't.

* * *

Several hours later on the other side of the country, Dean is working on a job, when he suddenly feels something inexplicable, a pain deep inside him, something is wrong. _Sammy._

Intuitively knowing that something is wrong with his brother, Dean abandons the hunt, gets in the impala, and speeds towards Minnesota. As far as he knows, towards his brother.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr Shepherd is only just now starting to remove the tumour, as it is in a difficult position, when blood gushes from the surgical site, and simultaneously Sam's vitals plummet. The operating room suddenly becomes a hive of activity, people rushing in every direction, working frantically to revive Sam.

* * *

Within minutes the crisis has passed, but it is in the back of everyone's minds that he may have suffered permanent brain damage during the incident.

* * *

Sam is wheeled into the intensive care unit several hours later, the anesthetic has long since worn off, but he is still unconscious, comatose, the doctors aren't sure that he will ever regain consciousness. And so once Sam has settled into a bed, and has been connected to numerous monitors and machines, Meredith takes his chart and walks over to the nurses' station, where she flicks through the chart to find the number of his next of kin, his brother. She then dials the number, and after barely two rings it is answered. "Yeah?"

"Are you Dean Winters?" Meredith asks professionally, getting through the formalities.

"Yeah, who's asking?" Dean replies, not unused to answering to unfamiliar surnames.

Meredith pauses a moment before saying. "My name is Meredith Grey, I'm a surgeon at Seattle Grace Hospital ...You're listed as next of kin for a patient we have here, Sam Winters-"

As soon as he hears 'Sam', Dean interrupts her worriedly. "What?! What happened to him?! Is he alright!?!"

"I can't tell you over the phone, how soon can you be in Seattle?"

"Damn it! Tell me what's wrong with Sam." Dean demands. What the hell has happened to Sam?! He's supposed to be at school.

Meredith sighs wearily before she tells him. "He had surgery to remove a brain tumour this morning, and whilst we were able to remove the tumour, there were complications during surgery ...Sam is in a coma."

"..." There is a noticeable pause before Dean flatly says. "Seattle Grace, right?"

"Yes. Are you alright?" Meredith says with concern.

"I'm fine." Dean replies tensely before ending the call, leaving Meredith wondering if she did the right thing.

* * *

As soon as Dean snaps his phone closed, he presses his foot down harder on the gas pedal and with more determination and fear than he has felt in a long time, he speeds towards Seattle, towards Sam. All the while he is thinking.

_Sam had a brain tumour?! _

_How the hell could I be so blind?!_

_He needed me and I wasn't there for him._

* * *

It is two weeks after the surgery before Sam regains consciousness, and Dean, who has barely left his side since arriving, had almost lost hope that he would, but he does, and thankfully so far there hasn't been any sign of cognitive impairment.

And so as they sit in the hospital room, joking around and just being brothers, waiting for a nurse to bring Sam's discharge papers, Sam swears not to keep any more secrets from Dean, and Dean is quick to promise the same, but unbeknown to both they each still hold all too many.

* * *

**The End.**

**Short, I know. Too brief, not enough depth and detail, I know. But hopefully you enjoyed it any way.**

**Thanks for reading! Please review, I'd love to hear your thoughts!**


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